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Photographed by Annie Leibovitz, Vanity Fair, 2018But Daniels’s feelings about the Top the Pittsburgh pirates abbey road carlos santana ke’bryan hayes signatures shirt it is in the first place but past have been complicated by the way she’s considered that memory-blank in the hotel room. “So at one point after we’d been chatting for a couple hours, I got up to use the bathroom,” she recalls. “And then I come out, and—it’s like, there’s 90 seconds that don’t exist. I don’t know what happened. I’m standing there, in the doorway, and all of a sudden he’s there in his underwear, doing the world’s worst Burt Reynolds impression, and—that’s the thing I don’t understand, I don’t understand how I got from the doorway to being underneath him in the bed.” She pauses, takes stock. “I remember thinking—his bodyguard is right outside that door; what happens if I hit him? Is that bodyguard going to come in here and hurt me? I remember him saying, ‘Do you want to go back to the trailer park?’” She pauses again. “I never said I lived in a trailer park; I didn’t. I said we were poor.…”

“But I don’t remember taking off my shoes,” she goes on. “And that’s what gets me. Because they were these gold shoes, with buckles—kind of a pain in the Top the Pittsburgh pirates abbey road carlos santana ke’bryan hayes signatures shirt it is in the first place but ass to put on and take off, you know? And I know I took them off because I had to put them back on again. And I remember that, putting them on. And it being a thing, because I wanted to leave. Afterwards. I know I didn’t say no,” she adds. “But I also know I didn’t say yes. I wasn’t threatened.… I don’t know. I just don’t know.” There are probably a lot of women who can identify with Stormy Daniels’s 90-second blank. The fuse that shorts in your head when you’re forced to make a choice when there’s no good choice to make. The way you paper over the void with jokes, with defiance, with some kind of after-the-fact justification that gives the experiences narrative cohesion—and yourself a sense of agency. These are exactly the issues raised by #MeToo, in its initial post-Weinstein incarnation: Issues of power and consent. Watching the 2019 drama Bombshell made Daniels realize the ways she’d been caught in that matrix, she says. “It was like a lightbulb went off in my head.” As a stripper and porn actress, she had perhaps figured she understood the rules of the game, when it comes to the transactional value of female sexuality; as she told Chozick, her first big professional investment in herself was breast augmentation, implants that repaid their cost many times over in strip club tips. Bombshell made her see that, in her interaction with Trump, the game was rigged.“What really hurts is that I’ve seen stories since, that are like, identical to mine, and I think—if I’d come forward earlier, could I have kept that stuff from happening?” And by extension—could she have somehow stopped the Trump presidential train before it ever got on the tracks?

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