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I parroted that Keke Palmer meme—“I hate to say it, I hope I don’t sound ridiculous, I don’t know who this man is. I mean he could be walking down the Official stephen curry Christmas with the currys golden state warriors 2023 sweater In addition,I will do this street, I wouldn’t…I wouldn’t know a thing. Sorry to this man”—when someone mentioned his name. I manifested bad things happening to him, like a witch casting a spell or Lily Allen in the “Smile” video. Three months after my husband, Cam, died at 34 of gallbladder cancer, I booked a trip to Mount Everest. I pictured myself looking up at the mountain, prayer flags fluttering around me as I took refuge in the ice and altitude. I imagined the pictures I would take, hashtag healing. One month before, I’d hiked across a volcanic pass in New Zealand and used our savings to go whale-watching in the Pacific Ocean. Several months later I landed a literary agent with my blossoming career as a grief writer. It was my great year of productivity, and I had the Instagram posts to prove it.

Official stephen curry Christmas with the currys golden state warriors 2023 sweater

My life had become more digital as a widow. Cam and I had recently relocated overseas for his new job at a movie studio when he fell sick. I had a small circle of friends but found it difficult to nurture those relationships. I was flaky, often cancelling plans for last-minute dashes to the Official stephen curry Christmas with the currys golden state warriors 2023 sweater In addition,I will do this hospital. Dealing with cancer made things so busy and erratic that I was too burned out to realize how alone I was, or forecast how alone I’d really be when everything ended for Cam and my new life as a widow began. People my age were planning weddings as I chose a funeral dress, and I didn’t know a single person in my small community who had experienced such a monumental loss. Widowhood was, for lack of a better word, my niche.

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